I was thinking the other day, while driving in my car, about the name of Jesus. More specifically, I was thinking about the honor and the privilege that I have in being able to speak it with boldness and confidence.
I was thinking what a wonder it is that I'm allowed to breathe out the syllables of His name at all.
I can't really explain it, but I bet if you got alone by yourself for a minute and closed your eyes and really concentrated on Jesus and Him alone for a few minutes...you'd begin to possibly understand the magnitude of what I'm speaking about here.
Jesus is awesome, and awe-inspiring...not to mention Holy. To be in His presence is to not only be instantly filled with love and adoration, but also horror. Horror at the sin that has now been made glaringly apparent in His light.
Imperfections that once seemed minor and inconsequential are now unmasked for what they truly are...pure, stinking, rotting death. Separation, rebellion, disobedience. Evil.
Surely someone with such defilements would be completely reviled by The Holy One. Someone who bitterly rages about having to forgive that certain someone over and over while blithely overlooking her own shortcomings and need for constant forgiveness...that type of hypocrisy would most certainly be shunned by The Eternal right?
Instead, we are granted the unspeakable grace of being allowed into His Presence at the merest whisper of His Name, and when the Light shines on all those imperfections, we are offered a trade.
Our weakness for His strength.
Our frailties and disease for His wholeness and healing.
Our utter depravity for His righteousness.
On and on the list goes. His goodness knows no end and His kindness endures from generation to generation.
There is only one catch to this whole deal.
We must choose to trade. We cannot knowingly hold onto evil with one hand and expect to touch His heart with the other.
We must choose.
I'm sure you've noticed the silence here at Mimi and Butterbean these past few months. Perhaps someday I'll be able to share about it all, but at this time, part of my choosing means letting all of what has passed...go.
And so...once again I breathe The Name of Names.
It is at once a prayer and a praise, for things I'm letting go of, and the things I will receive in this ridiculously upside-down trade.
Pray with me? Choose with me?
Let's let what has passed in the old year go its way. And as we breathe in and out, uttering the Holiest of Holies, may we let the Light wash over us and fill us with joy and hope for the new year to come.